Wahlburger – The Our Burger
1/3 lb burger, lettuce, onion, American cheese, Paul’s house made signature Whalburger sauce.
You know those days where you just feel feverish? Where you can’t shake the headache? The cold sweats and hot chills haunt you long into the night? Well so do I. So do I. Put yourself at ease though, because I’ve been there, and I have found the cure.
The cure comes in a delicious blend of quality ground beef, lathered in melted creamy cheese and covered in homemade sauce, before being sandwiched between a delightfully soft brioche bun. This chaps and chapetts, is exactly what I needed this week. Welcome to my life Whalburgers.
Founded by Marky Mark and brother Donnie in 2011, Whalburgers have built their reputation across the pond largely through the brothers active engagement with the chain, which includes making a TV series about it. And so, following the footsteps of 5 Guys, Shake Shack and a number of others, Whalburgers worked their way over to the Metrop. to open their first gain outside of the states.
A casual dining restaurant, the walls are adorned with posters from Mark’s films, not much of Donnie’s, and tv screens showing sports. The menu is short and simple, and includes beers, which feels like a nice touch.
I went for Chef Paul’s favourite, the ‘Our Burger’. A simple combination of Patty, lettuce, onion and their own signature sauce, which I improved with the obligatory addition of bacon, and with hotly anticipated fervour, I tucked in.
And in one greasy mouthful, all of the anticipation and fervour that had been swelling inside of me like a tidal wave, dissipated into abject disappointment. Allow me to take a moment to explain why.
The patty, which is supposedly made up of a blend of Fresh Scottish Brisket, Short Rib and Chuck was greasy and cooked to a pink medium rare, and yet was as dry as your Aunt Mabel’s cupcake. Added to this, the Bacon was baked and not fried, so instead of having a salty and crispy slither of heaven, I was left with a dry and chewy slab of blandness. It was around this time that My friend Tom commented that it more resembled a ‘Brick Wahlburger’. There’s a reason he doesn’t write these reviews.
Paul’s housemate signature Whalburger sauce was nice. I think. I can’t be fully sure though as I could barely taste it, and this was all encompassed in the sturdy and reliable sweet brioche bun. Only it wasn’t reliable and sweet. It was ok, and nothing more.
Sadly it seems as though Market Mark’s skills are better suited to awesome action movies and head bopping beats than the world of restauranting, for this was not a burger to make you sit up and take notice. No, this burger more closely resembled that of a beach hotel burger. A burger that. whilst having some good flavours, is cheap and rushed. A burger for the masses rather than being a magnificent masterpiece, carefully crafted by the soft hands of a dedicated burger sculptor.